#TBT

Since it's Thursday and I wanna throwback and tell you what exactly happened to me. Instead of being vague and saying I was bullied I want to go into detail. Middle school is where girls try to find where they belong. They climb on each other, pulling hair, scratching each others eyes out. (Not literally) They talk crap as well as gossip. Does that honestly make them feel better? I kill with kindness and they didn't like how that would effect them, so the words flew out by one give following my many in a domino effect. Day, weeks, months after coming home and crying, I was asked to scoot down at the lunch table. I said I couldn't because there was ketchup a foot away from where I was sitting. I was asked over and over to scoot over the the fact where they physically moved my tray. I grabbed it, I got up and I left to another group of girls holding back a wall of tears. They asked me what was wrong and that is when the walls blew up and I just began to sob. Long story short that group I newly sat by, fought over who was better friends with me and would create unnecessary drama about the most stupid stuff. I made the decision to once again move and this group would never invite me anywhere and I had to invite myself. Again I moved. I didn't fully belong in this group, I changed to be weirder to fit in. So during the long summer the main girl that influenced the bullying. So somehow I slipped back in to the "popular" group. All though seventh grade it was little fights now an then. This summer a rumor spread saying that I called them followers. And they got mad at me. Harassing me on ask.fm asking over and over questions that a person should never have to answer. I began to go back into a state of crying often and it just felt things were getting worse. I began to talk to other girls starting new friendships. I thought that maybe it could get better, an it did. I surround myself with positive people and eventually my best friend wanted to solve issues. Some of the girls said stuff that changes how they see them, and how I feel about them, I'm still cautious. But I remain civil because if they want to act nice I'm not going to stop them. I don't always do activities with them and I turn a lot of events down. But despite the fact the hurt me over and over again I wanna be the cup half full girl so I let anything good and positive into my life.